I’ll be happy when…
I’ll only be happy if…
When ____ happens, then I’ll be happy.
Happy Monday, Errbody!
So, I’ve begun listening to, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself,” by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I’ve known of him since his appearance on “What the Bleep Do You Know,” but I haven’t studied his work until recently. In a strange turn of synchronicity, his work showing up in my life now is nothing short of a miracle. Much of what he talks about is in line with much of what I’ve written here. So it’s been wonderful to have not only some corroboration but also some new words on some old ideas. So, if you need a book to read then I highly recommend it.
How many times have you said something like, “I’ll be happy when I’ve lost weight.”
Or, I’ll be happy when…my diet is on point.”
Or maybe, I’ll be happy when I buy that…1968 Shelby Mustang.
Or simpler yet:
Maybe it’s something like: “I’ll be happy when this work project is done,” or “when my kids clean their rooms.”
Why is “Happiness” always something we’re looking forward to? Why is it just “out of reach?” Better yet, why do we put our happiness in someone else’s hands?
I won’t be happy until you ___.
Everyone struggles with “happy” at some point in their lives. Some of us struggle more than others- perhaps because of circumstance, or neurochemistry. There are literally a million “reasons” why we think our happiness always seems to be just out of reach but really they all boil down to one:
I know it’s hard to hear and it may even be harder to believe.
There will always be situations that will try their damndest to jerk us out of our happiness but whether or not we allow that to happen is a choice.
Actually, that’s not even correct. Situations are only ever just situations. Circumstances are only ever just circumstances.
Epictetus taught us all about that.
It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matter. – Epictetus
Does that mean there are times when it’s ok to not be happy? Sure. But likewise, whether or not we stay in that “unhappy state” is also a choice.
Emotions are incredible things. They are the physiologic/neurochemical counterpart to thought. They allow us to literally feel our way through life. And because they are a neurochemical response to thought they can become habitual.
And, like any addiction, our dependence on these neurochemical habits can be broken.
This is how a “glass half empty” person becomes a “glass half full” person. But these changes don’t happen overnight just as a heroin addict doesn’t become sober overnight.
Habitual thought necessitates habitual emotion and our body/mind system become dependent upon these habits. And the stronger the habit is, the more of that specific neurochemical cocktail it requires to perform its daily duties. This is why depression can often become chronic.
But just as depression can become a chronic condition, so too can Happiness and all free from antidepressants. It just takes a some aptly invested time, self trust, open mindedness and yes, a great deal of work to rewire our grey matter.
But before any change is possible we must first choose to believe that it IS, in fact, possible. And, as I’ve said before, what we believe about ourselves, our lives, the world/universe IS true, if only for ourselves.
Secondly, we have to take responsibility for our own emotional state by reclaiming our power over it. People don’t make us feel a certain way. We choose to allow them to. Situations don’t make us feel a certain way. We choose to allow them to.
And happiness is only ever a choice away.
Here’s the thing. If our happiness is always conditional on a certain outcome, on whether we loose the weight or upon whether or not we ever get that 68 Mustang we’ll never be happy – even if we obtain those things because there will always be something more we need in order to be happy.
Choose happiness now and be happy.
Om, Baby! Om,