If you’ve been reading my blog you’ve seen my personal mantra #nomorefear. Prior to this past Friday, #nomorefear was all about me overcoming my personal anxieties (things that I was too scared to be or do for fear of being seen and judged…) but on Friday it took on such greater magnitude.
On Friday, my Momma (my Angel) had a series of small seizures. I took her to the hospital where she was initially treated for a magnesium deficiency and sent home. 5 minutes after we arrived back home she had another seizure and my brother and I rushed her back to OCMC.
There, they performed a scan which revealed a small mass on her brain and she was sent to Baptist in Little Rock. Before we left Camden they gave us a little hope that the mass looked to be a fluid cyst which, as “masses” on the brain go, is about the best you can hope for.
Yesterday, they performed another round of CT/MRI scans and, if I understood correctly, that’s what the mass appears to be. The Neurosurgeon is certain he can get the entire mass out. The CT also revealed two “nodes” in her lungs. So they’re scheduling brain surgery to get the cyst out and to determine if we need to worry about the lung nodes.
…It’s so weird to think my mom will be having brain surgery this week.
That’s something you think other people deal with…until you have to deal with it.
I do believe in God though, I always have and I also believe in the power of prayer if for any other reason than this: all is energy. You, me, the phones were holding, the atoms that compose them and us…. everything we see is all energy. I believe that love is energy and we know for a fact that thought is energy because it can be measured. And prayer is thought in motion.
So how can I #nomorefear?
Right now it’s about understanding that there is absolutely nothing about this present situation that is within my control though I can hope and love and pray for the best of possible outcomes and it’s about trusting that God’s divine Will will be done.
At first, #nomorefear was all about me trusting and believing in myself. Now, it’s all about me trusting and believing in God.